Dreams Awake
by Sticksy
Summary: 15 years from now, people will wonder if you even know how to smile and, alone with your piano and pills, you'll wonder too.


A/N: This is my first House fic. My first time writing anything in ages. It's nothing but I welcome comments both good and bad. You can't write something and expect everyone to love it and say good things. You can't write something and whine when someone criticizes. All I ask is that if you want to leave those fiery "flames" for me, at least be a grown up. Say why you don't like it if you have a few minutes. No hard feelings if not. Don't just say "This is dumb" with an anonymous comment. Be bold. Stand behind your opinions. I'm certainly not going to be emailing you to cry about how you hate me. Your opinion is yours and you should value it enough to let everyone know that it's yours.

And now, on to the show.

* * *

"Dreams Awake"

You sit, impatiently, in your chair waiting for your name to be called. It's a beautifully cliche day, warm breezes tickling your hair and the murmur of the crowd washing over you like a calm tide.

You're wide awake in the dream you've had your entire life and nothing has prepared you for how good it feels. Nothing can stop you! You're a legend already. Young and energetic, the sort of charismatic figure people can't help but be intrigued by.

You ignore the whispers that suggest what you are might not be a good thing. They just don't understand your thoughts as well as they wish they could. You believe you've got nothing to fear because you'll show the world your heart, they'll realize who you really are.

The problem is that you don't know who you really are. You're deceiving yourself as much as them. There's foley in your self-assured smirk. For all your intelligence and achievements, there is still a lot that you don't know.

You don't know that one day, you'll lose the woman you love for good. You don't know that you'll become a cripple after the other woman you love betrays your trust. You don't know that you'll become a drug addict.

The puffy clouds hovering overhead don't show you any hints that one day, everything will be too much and you'll wind up in a mental institution. Why would you even suspect that your future holds this? You're perfectly sane and rational if a bit rebellious with your marverick ways.

No. You don't know any of this. Because today, today, the sun is shining and you're so close to holding your degree that your hand has been curled with it's imaginary shape for the last 3 hours.

You don't realize what you're destined to become. It doesn't occur to you that one day, you'll have crossed a line and no longer remember why you're doing this, no longer remember why you bother saving lives in the first place. You don't know that you'll drag everyone down with you, make them worse off for being a part of your world. YOu don't know that you'll save lives but be beyond saving yourself.

You don't know that in 25 years, you'll look back and wish you could warn yourself.

"Doctor Gregory House."

Standing up, you finally feel complete hearing yourself addressed for the first time as a doctor. A smile like you've never experienced threatens to split your cheeks. 15 years from now, people will wonder if you even know how to smile and, alone with your piano and pills, you'll wonder too.

Med school doesn't teach you a lot of things. You learned anatomy and physiology, the Hippocratic Oath and Ethics... just like everyone else. You're not like them though, you never were and you never will be. You have a gift that will become a responsibility you're not prepared to bear.

Maybe you shouldn't have taken Logic the same semester as Ethics and Philosophy. First do no harm quickly became a Machiavellian princple to you. You scoffed when you learned of the ancient roman general who sent over 1,000 men to their deaths to save one warrior. You don't know that this is your fate, that saving each single life put in your hands will outweigh any other considerations.

You do know that you are good at what you do. You know that it is all you have ever wanted. Right now, in this very moment, nothing can take this away from you. Pride burns in your chest, hope alight on your heart. In time, those things will fade. The shell is all that will remain.

Today, though, there is an entire bright and bold future ahead of you. It's not the one you will wind up living. The world is yours for the taking. You are full of promise and ambition, genius and accomplishments. You are happy. Hold on to that feeling, it's not going to last.


End file.
